Learning to Love
by Forever Snape
Summary: Hermione returns to Hogwarts to seek help on a project of hers.  On the way, both she and Severus Snape learn about life...and love.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1- Homecoming

"Home is where one starts from." –T.S. Eliot

Severus Snape reached for the bottle of brandy sitting on the smell, polished oak table between him and Minerva. He poured another glass for himself and topped off Minerva's. She delicately sipped at it and sighed contently, letting the brandy warm her where the fire could not.

"You do really know how to spend your evenings, Severus," she murmured, languishing in the plush, velvet, green chair- the kind you sink into just enough that you don't want to get up, but can if you absolutely have to.

"Of course. I am, after all, the most charming man you know." He smirked at her, tipping his head back a little to absorb more of the dark green walls and less of the sheen of the hardwood floor. "Really, you do seem to spend too much time in your animagus form," Severus mused, watching her stretch out and then curl up a little in the comfortable chair he saved for special visitors.

"But it is so much better for spying on students. Really, just last week, I saw Henry Welling and Sarah Prosby in the hallway…do you know what they were doing?" Severus shook his head, highly amused. "They were-" Minerva leaned forward, "kissing! At their age! And should say that they would have been doing a bit more if I didn't break them up!"

Severus chucked. "My, my Minerva. I never thought a Gryffindor such as you would break up young lovers, especially since they're in your house. You did deduct points, didn't you?"

Minerva ducked her head a bit and sheepishly replied, "Well, it is young love…and love is very powerful. It shouldn't be broken up, you know. It should be encouraged!...However, after they're a little older."

"You didn't deduct points. I swear you Gryffindors are all the same; you're a stickler for the rules when it comes to school work and other houses, but when you're confronted with sentimental nonsense, all the faculty of logic you could have ever possessed flees from your brain."

"At least we have some sentiments of romance, unlike one Slytherin I know…" Minerva looked up under her brow at the man sitting across from her.

He glared at her and sipped some more of his brandy. "Minerva, you are one of the most obnoxious busy bodies I know… Albus would be so proud of you."

"He is. His portrait was finished and animated just yesterday. It is hanging in my office now."

The fire seemed to dim and a slight chill settled over the room. _Or maybe I'm just paranoid._ He could see Minerva's pity radiating off of her in painful waves, painful to him, at least. _I'm not used to "understanding" and I despise being pitied. If everyone could just treat me the way they used to…passive aggressively, or not so much in cases like Potter. I can cope with hate…but this…_

The statue named Minerva eventually blinked after several agonizing minutes of deafening silence and shifted in her seat. She gave a half smile and continued, "Fortunately, he doesn't sleep all the time so I have some one to talk to who's actually interesting."

Recovering, Severus bit back, "I'm hurt! After all we've been through…and frankly, I'm wonderful entertainment."

Minerva gave a very un-ladylike snort. "You just talk about potions all the time. Not terribly interesting, if you ask me."

"It's not my fault you insist on waving that silly wand around all the time. Really, potions is the only way. Besides, my wit is so sharp that you would love to listen to me talk about anything, no matter what 'anything' is. More brandy?" Severus lifted the decanter in her direction.

"Now, those are words that I love to listen to," Minerva smiled, holding out her glass for more. "Speaking of brandy and such alcoholic delights, don't you have a bottle of '69 McArthur around here somewhere?"

Severus shifted in his chair. "That's only for celebrations or self-pity parties. Tonight is none of those. Come talk to me next Sunday before term starts and I'll consider giving you a small glass of it. I'm not about to pull out the entire bottle with a woman of Scottish blood around."

Minerva gave a half glare and entertained the notion of telling him exactly why he should be giving the Headmistress a bigger glass, but restrained herself. Instead, she smiled sweetly and replied, "At least we don't drink as much as the Irish. And in any case, tonight is a celebration! You do know who is arriving tomorrow, correct?"

Turning at this, Severus reached for the decanter again, suddenly having a vague feeling that his night was about to take a disastrous turn. "No. I seem to have been left out of the loop once again."

"Well, if you would leave those dungeons of yours more frequently, you might know a lot more about what happens around the castle." Severus gave her a glare normally saved for the likes of Potter. Minerva sighed, "Do you remember Hermione Granger?" Deciding to toy with him, she sipped at her brandy and pretending to be terribly interested in a combination of her finger and the design on the brandy glass.

"Yes, of course I remember the Granger annoyance. What about her?" Severus growled. The previous mood that had been regained after the silence had, once again, been broken.

"Well," Minerva paused. "Are you sure that you wouldn't mind pull out that '69 McArthur? I do enjoy your brandy, but we've been sipping it for a full hour now and I do like a little variation."

He grit his teeth and pushed out, "Most likely, I will treat myself to it later. Now, what about her. You cannot be serious that she's coming-" he broke off at her satisfactory nod. "You're serious. Minerva…" Rubbing the bridge of his nose, he drained his glass in a single swallow, grimaced and poured himself more.

"You can't go your entire life hating the girl. She's brilliant, has a sense of humor, doesn't dwell in darkness…" she emphasized those words and looked pointedly at Severus, "…and she's beautiful, don't tell me you haven't noticed."

"I haven't seen her since she left Hogwarts. Contrary to popular belief, I do not spend my days ogling young school girls and I do not seek out students after they leave unless I have a particular desire to make sure that they're suffering. Besides, she's an annoying chit."

"Nonetheless, she's a brilliant, if as you presume, annoying, chit. Don't you bother reading the Daily Prophet? She-"

Severus cut her off abruptly. "No. Mindless, biased drivel that's published for small minds."

Minerva sighed and looked at him, exasperated. "If you had, you would know of her achievements. She's recently published a book talking about the effects of muggle techniques on potions and potion ingredients. Next Friday, she's speaking at a potions convention. I believe you were going to attend that one, were you not?"

"For your information, I did know of her work." Severus took another sip of his brandy to steady his nerves again. "And I was going to attend. However, considering the circumstances, I think it best that I not," he stated, leaning back and rigidly resting his arms and brandy glass on the arms of the chair. "I wouldn't want to miss our chess games- you know, the ones where you lose."

It was Minerva's turn to be exasperated. "Sometimes I think the students are right and you are insufferable. Now, I'll leave you to your thoughts, and I expect them to be about what you're going to wear to that convention. You're going; I will not listen to any arguments otherwise. Goodnight."

With that, she walked out, leaving emotions of confusion, anger, and nervousness in her wake, all tormenting Severus Snape. "Really, if she expects me to go, she's got to be more mad than Moody." He took another gulp of brandy and leaned back farther in his chair. Suddenly, he bolted upright. "Damn her! She didn't even tell me what the Granger girl is coming here for! And I'll be damned if it's going to be for a job!"

He threw the remainder of his brandy along with the glass into the fire and slumped into his chair, truly convinced that it would not be the best of weeks.

Hermione arranged her suitcases in her pocket after shrinking them. She still carried two of her books in her arms because one certainly couldn't go an entire carriage journey without doing something. Of course, apparition was always available, but that was so quick and she didn't have anything to do with her time. Ever since she returned from the Americas, Hermione had found that it was difficult to occupy her time unless she planned things. Unfortunately, she had nothing planned before her arrival at Hogwarts, so a carriage it was, just to have something to do besides waiting around at her flat.

Laying back on the seat, she opened her copy of Potions for the Proficient to page 325. On that page was the start of information on Hollock. It was only right that she should be reading about it; it was, after all, one of the most dangerous (if used incorrectly) and temperamental herbs. In order to use it legally, you had to be a potions master. The Ministry of Magic would have required anyone who wanted to use it to obtain a license, but the only ones suicidal (or competent) enough to dare using it were potions masters, who already had licenses. This was one reason why potions masters liked Hollock so much; since civilians didn't touch it and the Ministry didn't like messing around with potions masters, there were no incredibly strict and unnecessary laws regarding the acquirement and use of the plant. By no means was it easily accessible; however, there weren't any mounds of paperwork, as required for some other ingredients, plants or not. One merely had to pay a small fee, show the mark bestowed upon all potions masters, and voila!- all the hillock you paid for available for use. The only problem was the plant's fluctuating characteristics (as a result of its molecular instability, in muggle speak) and it's incredibly short shelf life of one day. Hermione had put her mind to solving all of these problems and she was determined not to fail. But after about a year of working on the problems with the few and conflicting bits of information found in rare or expensive books, she was getting tired and running out of different perspectives and ideas to use when working to solve the problem. It was only a week ago when she received Minerva's invitation to visit Hogwarts that she even considered taking a break and perhaps trying something that she'd never thought of before: Severus Snape.

The carriage drew up to the gates of Hogwarts. Hermione stretched gracefully and settled herself again, making sure that she still had both suitcases in her pocket and her books in her hand. She looked around her surroundings through the window and was pleased to not that nothing much had changed. It was the same old Hogwarts, a constant source of relief and peace in her life and, at this time, the only source of such feelings. Hermione smiled and whispered wryly, "There's no place like home."

Looking up from some official-looking documents, the Headmistress strode over to her window and looked out to see Hermione's carriage pulling up to the gates. "Albus! Albus! She's here! Hermione is here!" Minerva produced a smile that quickly turned into a frown when she didn't hear a reply. Briskly, she strode over to shake Albus' portrait. "Albus!"

With a snort worthy of Hagrid, Albus woke up and stretched, his hands going beyond the boundaries of the frame. "You did always know how to get people's attention, Minerva," Albus yawned and popped a lemon drop into his mouth.

Minerva looked at him, muttering, "You can't swallow those things, Albus. I really don't know why you bother eating them in the first place." A dissonant clang from a picture of Hogwarts on her wall alerted her to Hermione's imminent approach to the front doors of the castle. Without a word, Minerva left Albus to his candy and rushed off to meet Hermione.

Hermione huffed her way up the hill to the stairs in front of the castle doors. "huff…stupid carriage…huff…not my fault I didn't…huff…have an extra two knuts on me…huff…honestly…huff could have driven me…huff…up here."

She reached the stairs and pulled herself up them until she got to the door, where she collapsed against it, chest heaving. _This is what I get for working in an office and not exercising at all…honestly, I can't remember the last time I've done anything at all resembling physical activity. Besides reaching for that jar of Cron eggs on the top shelf. Someone could have warned me that the stool I was standing on was weak and that those eggs are heavier than the textbooks tell you._ Grimacing at the memory of the two bumps on her head from that accident (one from the jar and one from the floor), Hermione began to move a little.

The door flew open behind her and a smiling Headmistress stood there, ready to greet her favorite ex-student as said favorite ex-student fell backwards and landed on the Headmistress, knocking them both to the ground with a surprised shriek from Hermione to accompany the fall.

Hermione lay there, wondering why the door opened so quickly and why the ground was soft. Then she heard a groan and sat up on the soft and squishy thing, producing a louder grunt of pain. Turning around, Hermione's eyes grew wide and her face assumed a completely astounded and horrified look.

"Professor! I'm so sorry! I didn't see you there, I was just leaning against the door…" Hermione babbled, still sitting on the not-so-dignified-anymore Headmistress.

"Hermione! Off!" Hermione slid off her and landed awkwardly on the floor as Minerva sat up and slowly stood.

Hermione sheepishly gazed up at her and then remembered that she was no longer a student and was not about to get points deducted. At that, Hermione pushed herself off the ground and brushed herself off, only to see Minerva giving her an amused look.

"Shall we try this again, Hermione?" Minerva smiled and then grimaced at the sharp pain in the back of her head where it collided with the floor.

"Yes. I do hope you won't hold this against me."

"Not at all, dear. Now…I'm so glad you could come Hermione, really. There are actually several things I want to talk to you about." Minerva motioned for Hermione to follow her down the hall.

"Of course. I'm glad I could come. Actually, I do have my own agenda for coming…but I suppose you want to sit down and talk to me sometime."

"Well, I did, but since I'm sure you are quite exhausted, I will just lead you to your room and leave you to get settled. Dinner is at seven- yes, we still keep the same schedule over the summer. It's easiest that way and you don't have professors showing up for dinner late claiming that they forgot what time it was at. In any case," Minerva stopped in front of a large portrait with the picture of young woman holding a butterfly. "I would like to speak to you after dinner. We'll have a nice little chat and catch up. See you at dinner." Minerva elegantly strode back down the hall back towards her office.

Hermione stepped in front of the portrait.

"Password?"

"I do get to set my own, correct? The Headmistress doesn't have to be here?" Hermione questioned, realizing that she didn't really feel like going back to get Minerva.

"Yes. The Headmistress doesn't have to be present since you are a teacher now. What password would you like?"

Hermione stood there and thought for a bit. She didn't particularly want anyone getting into her rooms. "I'd like my password to be-" she lowered her voice a bit, "Sanus - parilis vis vires in lux lucis."

The girl in the portrait nodded and opened up to let Hermione enter. The room was large, much larger than Hermione was used to. Out of all the rooms she had previously stayed in, the Head Girl room was by far the biggest and that room seemed small compared to this one. Gazing at the red and gold that surrounded her, Hermione supposed that the Headmistress had given the house elves instructions to decorate the rooms in accordance to her house colors. Unfortunately, they lacked decorating skills so the room looked gaudy instead of displaying the elegance of the color combination. _I'll just have to change that sometime. Right now, I see a bed that looks particularly comfortable._ With that, Hermione ambled into the bedroom and collapsed into the mattress, glad to finally be home.

Hermione's password is a quote from "The Æolian Harp" by Samuel Coleridge that was very roughly translated into Latin because I thought it would sound cool. So it actually says, "Sound similar force upon light" instead of "Sound-like power in light". If anyone knows Latin, I will be eternally grateful for a better translation. There's the first chapter, in any case. I hope you enjoyed it. I do need a beta, so if anyone's interesting, just send me an email. It will make me very happy! Thank you and please review. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

A/N: Italicized sentences are thoughts (or a spell, in one case).

"Always forgive your enemies…nothing annoys them so much." – Oscar Wilde

Severus jumped up from his cauldron at the sound of a loud clang coming from his rooms. Growling at the unwelcome announcement to go to dinner, he added a few more ingredients to the potion to stabilize it and left his private labs (which were right next to his rooms…how else would he be able to make potions in the middle of the night if he needed to?), taking long strides to the door. He hated being summoned to anything. He shouldn't be summoned to anything. _I am no longer at anyone's beck and call. I should be free to finish my potion in peace instead of having to attend dinner in a place I do not want to be with people I do not want to see and food I do not want to eat._ Severus stalked down the hallway, robes flowing out behind him. He figured the sooner he arrived at the Great Hall and ate, the sooner he could leave to go attend to his potion. He would incorrectly tell the Headmistress that it was volatile; that should let him out of the hall fairly quickly .

Approaching the doors, he almost ran into the Great Hall out of eagerness. But then he looked up and stopped dead in his tracks. It was her…sitting at the table. He should have known she would be there. Minerva did say that she would be gracing the staff with her presence. It was entirely unexpected, on his part at least, that she would have arrived by dinner time. Presumably she had been so busy with her work that she would have arrived much later, say around midnight, rather than now. _Why isn't she at home? Why did she have to come now! Stupid chit!_

Gritting his teeth, Severus sat down. Fortunately, he had arrived earlier than one other member of the staff, giving him a choice of two places: next to Granger and next to Minerva. Naturally, he chose the lesser of two evils and tensely lowered himself into the empty seat next to the Headmistress. The Headmistress was sitting next to Hermione, which didn't give Severus a complete chance at ignoring the girl completely, but at least he wasn't sitting next to her.

"Severus! I'm pleased that you decided to come." Minerva glanced at him and watched the unspoken words 'I didn't have a choice and I didn't want to come' flash across his face. "Miss Granger- Hermione- has just been telling us about her work." The girl flashed him a small smile, which he responded to with a deep glare. He was pleased to see her shrink a bit before she remembered that she was no longer in school and straightened up again. Frowning at this display, the headmistress continued, "I believe that you would find her work quite interesting, Severus. She is working with potions, after all."

Now the professor directed his glare (toned down a little…it was the Headmistress, after all) towards Minerva. "I doubt that she is working with potions dangerous enough to stimulate my intellect. In fact, she is probably working on a potion concerning the lifespan of toothbrushes or something ridiculous like such. It is not something for me to bother paying attention to, in any case."

Hermione looked at him and began to turn a little red. "Professor," she emphasized, "I am a Potions Mistress and am thus thoroughly qualified to be working in the field of potions. I have earned my degree honestly and am working on very useful things, not trivial matters concerned with daily life. As a matter of fact, I have been working with Hollock recently and have made some remarkable breakthroughs." She would never tell him that the last part wasn't exactly accurate.

Severus smirked at Hermione's words. "So the little girl thinks she is big enough to play with adult potion ingredients." He smiled inwardly as Hermione angrily blushed. She sat up a little straighter and attempted to give him her best 'I don't care about your opinions any more' look.

"Professor Snape, I am not a little girl and I am entirely qualified to handle such ingredients."

"Really."

"Yes, really." Hermione seemed to grow redder by the second.

"A qualified Potions Mistress, if that is truly what you are, would not leave her…important…research to go and reminisce with her former professors."

"I did not leave my research behind. This is merely a change of scenery along with ready access to more books on the subjects I am studying in conjunction with my project. In fact, I intend to work on my project here and will be using your potions lab." Hermione swallowed the rest of her tirade at the look that ran onto the Potion Master's face. It was a look of pure venom and contempt. He looked ready to strangle her where she sat, bugger the Ministry of Magic and any other authority. _I went way too far…_ Hermione sighed and prepared to meet her fate, not without a tiny tinge of regret that she didn't put her books away before she came to dinner. Maybe someone would be kind enough to bury them with her.

As Severus was giving her his patented glare of death, the rest of the staff watched on in with some horror and a hint of amusement. They certainly wanted Hermione alive after this- a possibility not too likely judging Snape's face- but it was also amusing to see the normally cool and sarcastic man experience such emotions and be entirely speechless for once.

He stood up and slammed his hands down on the table. In a deadly whisper, he spat out, "If you ever use my potions lab, Granger, you will find yourself regretting that action for the rest of your life. Am I clear?" Without waiting for a reply, he swooped off, leaving Hermione shaking and giving thanks for her life to every deity she knew the name of.

&

Severus entered his room and immediately went over to his cabinet, the one that was surrounded with as many protection charms as his potions labs. Recognizing him, the charms let him by to grab his bottle of '69 McArthur. _I'll be damned if I'm going to wait until next Sunday when I want to get pissed right now_.

He half-reached for a glass and then shook his head and started drinking straight from the bottle. _The only way to make this evening any better is to get so drunk that I don't remember anything…now, what I need is-_

Halting his train of thought at the loud knock on his door, he slurred, "Go 'way!" The intruder chose to ignore that command and marched into the room, _accio_-ing his bottle of alcohol away. Turning to yell at the person for such a brash action, he looked straight into the eyes of a very irate Headmistress.

"Severus! You know better than to scare the poor girl! She's been through enough as it is! These past few years have been very difficult for her and you are not making it any easier! As Headmistress, I will have you show respect to the girl at the very least, if you will not also be kind to her. This is no way for colleagues to treat each other." Minerva scolded him, looking over her spectacles at him the entire time.

Severus swore, "Colleagues! That…insolent wench! Seems you've been wankered properly before I have, Minerva! Colleagues!" He snorted.

Minerva sighed heavily, then straightened up. "I see there is no reasoning with you tonight, Professor. Here is your poison. I hope you're happy."

He sighed as she slammed the door behind her and took another deep gulp of his drink. If he accomplished nothing else tonight, he was determined to drown in his "poison".

&

Hermione walked gracefully backed to her rooms, head held high. She was not mad, not at all. And she certainly didn't hate him. Most of all, she was not beginning to regret coming to Hogwarts to begin with. No, of course not. _I'm not going to regret anything._

Approaching her rooms, Hermione mumbled her password and the portrait opened with a raised eyebrow in the process. Hermione glared at it and glided in. She stood in her living room, breathing calmly. _I'm not mad at him. I'm not going to get angry. I'm going to control myself…_

With a cry of frustration, Hermione gave up on attempting to be calm. "Damn him! I hate him! He could try being civil for once in his life…especially since I did absolutely nothing to provoke him! Honestly! That bloody bastard! I hope that one day he gets what he deserves!"

Hermione stopped in her tirade and started pacing back and forth slowly. "No…he's already gotten what he deserves. He's gotten that ten times over. Besides, if I say that, I'm no better than he is. He doesn't try to understand what I've been through and wishes more disaster on me. I will be civil to him, at the least. But I will certainly not respect him. Nor will I bother to speak to him on a daily basis. Granger, you are done attempting to get that man to be nice to you. From now on, just be professional towards him. And don't show him anything else other than polite contempt. But I swear if he-"

The door opened and someone stepped in. "If who does what?"

Hermione whirled around, recognizing the voice. "Ron!"

&&&&&&&&&&&

Thank you all for your lovely reviews. They gave me great hope and enabled me to write this chapter in a very short amount of time (which is why it's so short…sorry!). I'm going away for 11 days to Chicago, but will give you all a super long chapter when I get back. I promise! I'll be writing it the entire time. ) I hope you enjoyed this chapter even though it was short…next time, there will be a start of some real action. Review please!


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